Let's start with some definitions...
1. Nice guy - A guy who...
A guy who only values others' opinions over his own.
A guy who only values others' thoughts over his own.
A guy who "rolls with the tides" and has no clear direction.
A guy who follows and never leads.
A guy who is fearful and never takes action.
A guy who does not make eye contact.
A guy who is scared of his healthy masculine side.
A guy who is out of shape and doesn't take responsibility for his physical health.
A guy who gives in to cheap dopamine and takes the expedient route - every time.
A guy who makes little to no money and takes no responsibility for his finances.
A guy who thinks he deserves everything because he's "nice" and a "good guy" (lol)
2. Asshole - A guy who...
A guy who only values his opinions over others.
A guy who only values his thoughts over others.
A guy who only "takes action" and doesn't carefully plan his moves.
A guy who only follows "successful" people and looks down on everyone.
A guy who is fearless and doesn't consider implications of his actions.
A guy who uses eye contact to intimidate.
A guy who abuses masculinity.
A guy who only values physical fitness so he can dominate and control other men and be attractive to women.
A guy who gives in to cheap dopamine and takes the "win now" approach.
A guy who makes money but does so unethically.
A guy who thinks he deserves everything because he thinks he's better than everyone.
3. Good guy - A guy who...
Values his own opinion but considers others.
Is knowledgable on a variety of subjects and values his thoughts but considers new viewpoints.
A guy who takes careful action and plans for the future.
A guy who leads with EVERYONE'S strengths and weaknesses in mind.
A guy who acknowledges fear and pushes through.
A guy who makes strong eye contact and connects with the soul.
A guy who is confident in his masculinity and doesn't avoid nor abuse it.
A guy who values his body and stays in shape because he recognizes that his body is something he will have for the rest of his life and people value him according to how he looks.
A guy who values incremental growth and chooses to not give in to urges and trust his process.
A guy who makes money (lots of it) ethically and serves his customers ethically.
A guy who thinks he deserves both everything and nothing and works his ass off to make his life the best possible one it can be.
Why Nice Guys Finish Last...Always...
One of may favorite books of all time is "Models - Attract Women With Honesty". It's best-selling author Mark Mason's first book. He would go on to write his way to The NY Times Best Seller List for 179 weeks with his next book "The subtle art of not giving a "f...".
In Models, Manson describes "nice guys" as having "neediness". Neediness is a term he uses to describe guys who "place a higher priority on what others think of them them than what they think of themselves".
Nice guys are needy, they need validation and attention, they need approval. That is no way to live and everyone will look down on you. Nice guys are essentially vulnerable narcissists thinking the world owes them everything.
Think about why nice guys never win. Don't be that guy.
Why Assholes Kinda Win At First...
One of the questions on my test deals with what is called the "dark triad". The dark triad is...
1. Narcissism
2. Psychopathy
3. Machiavellianism
The dark triad has been researched and studied in depth and has some strong scientific backing. Men higher in dark triad traits, especially those with high IQs tend to appear to do well but as the saying goes, eventually the truth comes out...
For example, people high in psychopathy take risks and break rules. They get in trouble with the law and do things the "wrong way". They seek out danger and embrace it. They are fearless, have little to no empathy and do everything they can to succeed.
"Fearless" may come off as good but in the end, their decisions come back to bite them because they were not well thought out.
Someone high in Machiavellianism will manipulate people for their own gain. They are deceitful and lie and steal. They may appear to "Get what they want" but in the end, their lack of care for people does not build trust.
Men high in dark triad traits may succeed at first. There is truth in that. They may get the one night stand with the cutie at the bar. They may close that $5k deal. They may have 6 pack abs and they may have that picture perfect life on Instagram but then one day you realize...
They ignored the girl afterwards and lied to her about his intentions of getting into a relationship with her. They lied about their product and they threatened the client. They worked their ass off for the 6 pack - I'll give them that...But...you later find out that sit-ups atop the Burj Khalifa edge were a bad idea when that "perfect" IG pic went all wrong and he plummeted 163 stories...
The dark triad is intriguing. It hacks evolution, if you will but is it worth it or is that a faustian deal?
Why A Good Man Always Wins...
A good man wins in the end. Why?
1. He is responsible
2. He is accountable
3. He is fearless but careful
4. He is passionate
5. He is respectful of himself and others
6. He is on a mission
7. He is growing
A good man will lose and that is why he succeeds. He recognizes that each setback is instead a stepping stone. He recognizes the power of compound interest and improves himself every day. He gets what he wants out of life because he works his ass off for a better tomorrow for him and those around him.
A good man does not exalt himself over others. He does not parade his achievements but instead, he learns from failure and seeks wisdom and growth.
A good man will make billions and have the world mourning his loss. A good man will be happier than everyone else and a good man will get the woman he wants because he knows that not everything is meant to be and has choices.
Keep learning, keep growing.
Onwards and upwards,
TJ
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